Our Handfasting and Vows

Below is the text from our Handfasting and Blessing of the Hands (modified from those written by Eric Schwartz – thank you!) and Vows (modified from Quaker wedding vows).

~ Handfasting ~

Sonja: These cords represent the binding together of Ashley’s and Chris’ lives and our support of their union. As we fasten their hands together with these cords, we offer our assent to their marriage and we promise to support them in their lives together.

Ashley and Chris, woven into these cords are all the hopes of your friends and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together. With the fashioning of these knots, we tie all the desires, dreams, love, and happiness wished here, and by all your loved ones, to your lives for as long as you live.

Do you wish to bind your lives together, with the support of those gathered here and the loved ones who could not be here today?

Chris & Ashley: “We do.”

First cord

  • Fred: “Chris, will you cause Ashley pain?”
  • Chris: “I may.”
  • Fred: “Is that your intent?”
  • Chris: “No.”
  • Elizabeth: “Ashley, will you cause Chris pain?”
  • Ashley: “I may.”
  • Elizabeth: “Is that your intent?”
  • Ashley: “No.”
  • Barb: “Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?”
  • C&A: “We will.”
  • Barb drapes the first cord over their hands.
  • Sonja: “And so the first binding is made.”

Second cord

  • Allie: “Ashley, will you share in Chris’ laughter?”
  • Ashley: “I will.”
  • Mia: “Chris, will you share in Ashley’s laughter?”
  • Chris: “I will.”
  • Ben: “Will you both look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?”
  • C&A: “We will.”
  • Ben drapes the second cord over their hands.
  • Sonja: “And so the second binding is made.”

Third cord

  • William: “Ashley, will you burden Chris?”
  • Ashley: “I may.”
  • William: “Is that your intent?”
  • Ashley: “No.”
  • Asher: “Chris, will you burden Ashley?”
  • Chris: “I may.”
  • Asher: “Is that your intent?”
  • Chris: “No.”
  • Renee: “Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?”
  • C&A: “Yes.”
  • Renee drapes the third cord over their hands.
  • Sonja: “And so the third binding is made.”

Fourth cord

  • Leeana: “Ashley, will you share Chris’ dreams?”
  • Ashley: “I will.”
  • Sarah: “Chris, will you share Ashley’s dreams?”
  • Chris: “I will.”
  • Angie: “Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes?”
  • C&A: “We will.”
  • Angie drapes the fourth cord over their hands.
  • Sonja: “And so the fourth binding is made.”

Fifth cord

  • Kerry: “Chris, will you cause Ashley anger?”
  • Chris: “I may.”
  • Kerry: “Is that your intent?”
  • Chris: “No.”
  • Randy: “Ashley, will you cause Chris anger?”
  • Chris: “I may.”
  • Randy: “Is that your intent?”
  • Chris: “No.”
  • Mary Anne: “Will you take the heat out of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?”
  • C&A: “We will.”
  • Mary Anne drapes the fifth cord over their hands.
  • Sonja: “And so the fifth binding is made.”

Sixth cord

  • Fred & Barb: “Ashley, will you act honorably and treat Chris with respect?”
  • Ashley: “I will.”
  • Randy & Mary Anne: “Chris, will you act honorably and treat Ashley with respect?”
  • Chris: “I will.”
  • Parents: “Will you seek to never give cause to break that honor?”
  • C&A: “We will.”
  • Parents drape the sixth cord over their hands.
  • Sonja: “And so the sixth binding is made.”

Sonja: As your hands are bound by these cords, so is your partnership held tight by the symbol of this knot. Hold tight to one another through both good times and bad, and watch as your strength grows.

~ Blessing of the Hands ~

Barb: “These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.”

Mary Anne: “These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.”

Randy: “These are the hands that will comfort you in illness and hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind.”

Fred: “These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.”

Kerry: “These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your dreams. Together your hopes can be realized.”

Sonja: “These hands will offer and wear the rings you exchange as a sign of your love and commitment.”

Chris & Ashley tie the knot.

~ Vows ~

Chris: “In the presence of God and these witnesses, I take thee, Ashley, to be my wife, promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband so long as we both shall live. Ashley, with this ring, I commit my life to yours.”

Ashley: “In the presence of God and these witnesses, I take thee, Chris, to be my husband, promising with divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful wife so long as we both shall live. I choose to prioritize our mutual well-being as a couple, to continue my own self-care work so that I can be the healthiest version of myself, to consider the well-being of our families in decision-making, and to treat you with respect and choose my actions honorably. Chris, with this ring, I commit my life to yours.”